Thirty years ago, when my husband and I were dating, we chose to memorize 1 Corinthians 13 together. Love held such a romantic allure for us. We recited it as a mantra of our perpetual affection and included it in our wedding ceremony.
As time progresses—weeks, months, or even years—the Biblical concept of love in 1 Corinthians 13 will face challenges and tests within your marriage. Whether single or married, our comprehension of God’s love and our experience of it are consistently tested in our everyday lives. At the wedding altar, with our dreamy eyes and hearts full of love, we believe we understand what love truly means. However, the reality often confronts us, revealing that our understanding is still incomplete.
Here are some lessons I've learned—and I'm still learning—about love.
Love Suffers Long. Suffering is part of this life. Life isn't always rosy, and neither is true love. No cross, no crown. Our perfect example is Jesus Christ, who loves us more than anyone. While we will never be called to His level of sacrifice, the scriptures remind us that Jesus "for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame…" (Hebrews 12:2). Love costs comfort, self-denial, and pride. But reflecting that love draws others to Him and will allow us to sit with Jesus in Heaven.
Love is Kind. Are you a kind person? In the Cambridge dictionary, kindness means “generous, helpful, and caring about other people." Generosity goes beyond money and gifts; it includes giving our time and patience. I've had to ask myself: do I care about my spouse, children, or others even when they offend me? True love calls us to other-centered thinking.
Love Doesn't Behave Unseemly. Love is never ugly. Do you act ugly at times? I do. I'm ashamed when I argue with my spouse or when my adult children do things I don't approve of. Love allows people their own decisions without getting ugly about it. Love isn’t only about ourselves or being touchy when slighted, but considering others' feelings. True love doesn't read bad intent into people's actions—taking things personally and villainizing them—that is thinking evil. We need to give them the benefit of the doubt; they could simply be having a bad day.
Love Rejoices Not in Iniquity. Be honest. If someone hurts you deeply, do you hope they feel pain for it? When something bad happens to those who’ve wronged you, do you feel they deserved it? I have. However, by God's grace, He's helped me truly rejoice in good for others—even those who hurt me. I feel their pain and celebrate their joy.
Love Bears all Things. When we love people authentically, we will go through fire with them. In marriage, some endure seemingly impossible situations. Those who emerge often find it is worth it. They develop a deeper love and grow both individually and closer as a couple. They learn to believe in one another—and more deeply in God. True love helps us endure.
Call to Action
In 1991, I worked with my dear friend Jennifer. We developed a close bond that continues today. She had a difficult marriage, retired when her husband became very ill, and has been his primary caretaker for over 10 years. Now, she's 79, he's 87, and on Hospice requiring near constant attention.
She recently told me that for the first time in all their years together, during his illness, she finally feels they truly love each other. They've shared tender moments and developed an appreciation they NEVER had previously. Most significantly, through this journey, she’s become a born-again Christian. Hearing about her peace and love of God thrilled my heart! Jennifer is living by 1 Corinthians 13 and will have peace when her husband passes, knowing that truly, "love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8).
With God’s help, we can live daily according to 1 Corinthians 13. Will you join me?
All scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
