“Love is patient and kind…” What response does this popular phrase in First Corinthians elicit in you? Whenever I hear these words, I immediately think, “What else is love like?” I think God meant for Paul to describe love this way to catch our attention. If we keep reading the “Love Chapter,” particularly through verse 8, we find simple yet compelling descriptions of what love is and is not, what it does and what it keeps from doing.
While the love described in Paul’s letter is powerful, it is also difficult to achieve by human efforts alone. In fact, I daresay it is impossible to produce this love out of one’s will. How can you and I produce a patient love, a kind love? One without envy or boasting, arrogance or rudeness, when our nature encompasses just those things?
Do not fret—there is hope for us! The Bible testifies: “God is love” (1 John 4:8). God Himself will produce in us true love, since “from him and through him… are all things” (Romans 11:36 ESV). God’s love is the life-giving glue that ties the life in Christ together (see 1 Corinthians 13:1-3), changing who we are for the better. Knowing God and knowing love are interchangeable.
So, what is God’s love like and how can we practice it in our lives?
First of all, “Love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV). Patience involves waiting. This can take on many forms: a frown on a face, a foot tapping on the floor. But God's patience doesn't look like this—it involves kindness instead. To be kind means extending a hand, seeing someone in need, and helping them. While patiently waiting for us in heaven, God practiced self-sacrificial kindness by sending “his one and only Son” (John 3:16 NLT) to die for us on the cross. Before and after, He sent His prophets to guide His people to Him (see Hebrews 1:1, 2 Peter 1:21) while wanting “everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9 NIV). Practicing the patience and kindness of God’s love often means waiting by the side of someone in our lives who is making unsuitable choices. Being gracious and kind to them is anything but easy and is often not requited or rewarded—but can change their life for eternity, just as God has changed ours.
Another aspect of love is how it “does not envy or boast” (1Corinthians 13:4 ESV). No matter how green the grass is on the other side, love is satisfied with what it has, because God has given us our lot—and it is the best lot for us. God “has made everything beautiful in its time,” said King Solomon, and wants us to take pleasure in what we have (Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV).
In addition, love does not need to show off. Even though God has the power to breathe worlds into existence and “spread out the earth above the waters” (Psalm 136:6 ESV) at the sound of His voice, He does not boast. And that makes God more approachable to us. When we practice God’s love, we won’t be focused on displaying what we have or can do, but on serving others. Having this attitude will make us more approachable to others and God more approachable to them.
Following the same line, love from above “is not arrogant or rude” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ESV), even if someone has been rude to us. Jesus’ command to turn the other cheek (see Matthew 5:39, Luke 6:29) is not easy. Giving up our cloak when someone wants our tunic (see Matthew 5:39) is difficult. However, Jesus did just that while on earth—and more. While He could have overthrown anyone who stood in His way, He chose to be humble. His love calls us to be respectful and loving, even when it is not fair.
Here is one of my favorite descriptions of love: “It does not insist on its own way” (v. 5). This is hard. It is hard to give up personal plans, goals, and preferences for others. However, love from above is self-sacrificing. “By this we know love, that he,” Jesus our Savior and God’s only Son, “laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives,” our personal and often selfish wants, “for the brothers” (1 John 3:16 ESV). Love seeks to bring people to Christ so they can have the joy of meeting Him both now and, one day, face-to-face. Love insists on God’s will, which should be our own: for the world to be saved through Jesus (John 3:16).
When love does not get its own way, “it is not irritable or resentful” (v. 5). Another version says, “It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (NIV). Easy? Far from it. Prioritizing another person’s needs and not complaining about our own needs not being met is not something done by flesh and blood. It is done through the Holy Spirit. This involves prayer—lots of it. But if Jesus was able to love both His friends and His enemies after they hurt Him (e.g., Peter, Judas, Thomas), I assure you we can too.
However, Love does not make excuses for evil. In fact, Love “does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV). When Jesus saw how the temple of His Father was being dishonored, He immediately spoke out against it (Matthew 21:12-13), but when the little children came to Him, He blessed them even though the disciples opposed it (Mark 10:13-16). Love speaks out against evil and praises the truth. And how can we know what truth and evil are? By getting to know God Himself (see John 1:1-5, 14:6). Love defends what is right and does not let evil slide by.
Just as we are called to defend truth in love, we are also called to defend others, as “Love bears all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV). I like how the NIV puts it: Love “always protects.” Love abides with others, holding their hand, both figuratively and literally, through the good times and the difficult times. God has given us a perfect example of this. As Psalm 136 describes, God has never left our side since the beginning of time. He has been there through our obedience and disobedience, through the sunshine and the rain. He continues to bear all things for and with us. So let us follow God’s example and love one another (1 John 4:7), staying with others and supporting them through difficult times.
Loving one another requires trust. “Love believes all things” (v. 7). After all, how can love exist when doubt is present? Love “always trusts” (NIV). In a relationship with God, we may question His character when we do not understand how He is leading our lives. Likewise, there will be confusing times in relationships. However, love chooses to acknowledge and believe what it already knows about the other person’s character, even in troubling times. And in situations like these, communication is key. Philippians 4:6 calls us to talk to God when we are anxious, a skill that can carry over to human relationships where love is present. Talking things out can establish trust and love.
Love also “hopes all things” and “endures all things” (v. 7), especially when it encounters problems. Love keeps pushing on, hoping for better days. It “perseveres” (NIV), just like God perseveres with us, through thick and thin. According to Strong’s Concordance, the Greek word that translates to “endures” is “hupomeno,” which can mean “to…remain; figuratively to undergo, that is, bear (trials)… abide… patient(-ly) suffer, tarry behind.”1 Love does not leave at the first sign of a dark cloud. In difficult times, love does not abandon ship but stays in both sunshine and rain.
When love is shared, it can overcome a lot together. It can mean the strength to carry on in difficult times (after all, that strength will come from above). “Two are better than one,” said a wise man once, “because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV). However, at times it is appropriate to step out of a relationship, especially when danger is present. But when love gives, it can also receive because love is meant to support—both ways.
With this in mind, remember that human power can only do so much. Change truly starts happening when God is brought into the equation, as Jeremiah said: “We set our hope on you, for you do all these things” (Jeremiah 14:22 ESV). It is the Lord who does the heart-changing and implants true love within us.
And here is my favorite description of God and His love: “Love never ends” (1 Corinthians 13:8 ESV). On this journey of love, it may feel at times like the cup of love is running dry instead of spilling over. How can we give so much? How can we keep on loving when love requires sacrifice and it can bring pain? Jesus certainly felt this paradox during His time on earth: He was often not thanked for the miracles He performed (see Luke 17:17-18); others questioned Jesus’ power and loving actions out of fear for their membership at the synagogue (John 9:19-23); His own friend denied Him more than once (see John 18:15-18, 25-27).
Jesus did not stop loving those around Him when it hurt Him. After long days of serving and loving others, Jesus made sure to spend time alone with God by going to the mountains to pray (Matthew 14:23; Mark 1:35; Luke 6:12). Why? Because there is only one Source of true love: God Himself. When we abide in God, spend time with Him, and seek His face, He will abide in us (John 15:4-5), and that goes for His love too. We will be replenished with Godly love.
Call to Action
This journey to Love will not be easy, but it will be powerful. Loving others changes them, but it also changes us, helping us reflect Christ’s love more fully. I urge you to spend time with God and delight in His Love. It will naturally overflow in your life. Find God, and you will find His love.
“Love is from God,” the Bible promises us, “and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7 ESV).
Unless noted otherwise, scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture noted as NIV above is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.
- Strong, J. (1996). Strong's exhaustive concordance of the Bible. Thomas Nelson.
