As a little girl, my mom would take me to the local Catholic Church on Sunday for the service. It would always bother me when it was time to kneel and pray to a particular image. I remember thinking, “That image cannot hear, so why are we doing this?”
Over the years, I attended Catholic Churches here and there, and the same thoughts would race through my mind while in church. Since I had no answers to my questions and thought this was how everyone worshiped, I concluded that I must be thinking through this wrong.
The year was 1994. I was suffering from a deep depression, so severe that my name was on the suicidal list at the hospital. The depression was followed by an anxiety attack that I had earlier that year, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack! I ended up at an urgent care clinic, and the doctor gave me a piece of paper with the name of a therapist. I was mad at him! I wanted a pill to ease my chest pain. He told me that I was experiencing an anxiety attack. I had no idea what that meant. After much hesitation, I called the therapist and made an appointment to see her. I had never been to a therapist. I wondered how she would help my pain.
On my first visit with her, all I did was cry. She was so patient with me. After several visits, she told me that I was experiencing a chemical imbalance and that the cause of my anxiety attack was the many traumatic experiences I had gone through.
It was extremely difficult to rehash all the heartaches from the past during these therapy sessions. There was too much to deal with. It was overwhelming. In my family history was rejection, abuse of drugs, and molestation. It was just too painful to talk about, but the therapy process needed to take place.
One day, my cry for help was so deep. I longed for relief from the chest pain I had continued to deal with, and I also longed for peace of mind. What could I do? I didn’t want to attempt to take my life, as I had attempted it several times and was not successful. I felt like a failure.
My immediate thought was to open my Bible, which had been stored away for many years. I had not read it because the person who gave it to me told me that when you read the Bible and don’t understand it, you are not saved. Many times, I had opened the Bible, and because I didn’t understand it, then I thought I wasn’t saved. So, I lived with the thought that I was just one of those persons who wasn’t going to heaven and was going to hell. Therefore, I stored my Bible away.
That particular day in 1994, I thought I’d try to give the Bible another try. This time, I opened my Bible to the very back, because it had an outline of the life of Christ Jesus from birth to the resurrection. As I began reading, I kept coming across the word Sabbath. I had no idea what that word meant. As I continued reading, I learned how to cross-reference the Scriptures, and that was exciting as I never knew that could be done. The following two Scriptures were eye-opening to me:
Overjoyed: Finding New Truth
Matthew 27:62 says, “Now the next day, that followed the day of preparation…”
What day is the day of preparation? Friday.
Matthew 28:1 says, “In the end of the Sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week…”
I went to the calendar and counted the days of the week, beginning with the first day of the week, Sunday. My heart was filled with joy, and I realized that the chest pain wasn’t felt while I was reading. I was filled with excitement! The Sabbath is a day to the LORD!
As I continued reading, I found the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20. I was again filled with more joy! There was the answer to my question all those years as a little girl. “Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them…” (See Exodus 20:4-5.)
I was overwhelmed with much joy, peace, and the new truth regarding the Sabbath. I’ll never forget that happy day!
It took time to heal from my depression. It took many months of therapy. However, I was able to endure the many conversations with the therapist as I had a newfound relationship with God. I knew I wasn’t alone.
Isaiah 41:9-10 says, “Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea; I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
I praise the LORD for His help in coming to my rescue.
Call to Action
Whatever difficulties or trials you have in your life, you can KNOW that you are not alone in them. The Lord says that He goes with you and will never fail or forsake you. (See Deuteronomy 31:6). Hold onto Him. He is reaching out to you.
All scripture taken from the King James Version.
