Have you ever felt like you wanted to die? I have, and no, I’m not talking about suicide.
You see, I personally have a very big problem with myself. I totally relate to the description in the Bible that says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it” (Jeremiah 17:9)?
This is my problem. I have, and we all as humans have a big problem with sin, and it starts in our hearts. Our thoughts reflect what goes on in our hearts, and when I’m truly honest with myself, my thoughts aren’t always pure. I don’t always think the very best of every situation or of the person who irritates me to no end.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 reminds me that life is full of spiritual conflicts, and the weapons used to fight this warfare are not carnal. They are spiritual. Ephesians 6 talks about the armor of God that a Christian must wear to be equipped for this type of conflict. This armor, or these weapons, is key to helping us keep our hearts and our minds in the proper place. Sometimes, I have a hard time keeping my mind focused on what is correct. My imagination gets the best of me. But the solution to that is found in 2 Corinthians 10:5 which says, “...casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” My very thoughts must be obedient to Christ. What He wants. How He wants me to see life. What His word says about every situation. I must be obedient. But honestly, I struggle with this.
Sometimes my struggles are so intense that I just want to die—to myself.
I don’t really like wakes or funerals. My parents and four of my five siblings have all passed away. It isn’t easy looking at a lifeless body in a casket...or even worse, looking at an urn of ashes at a memorial. This is especially hard when it is someone you love and now miss in this life. But I’ve never seen a dead body get angry, irritated, or concerned about anything in this life. They are dead to all of the struggles in this life. Sometimes, I would also like to die to those things.
Lately, my prayer has been a sincere request to the Lord to help me understand Galatians 2:20. You may have heard this verse many times. It sounds great, in theory. Paul valiantly proclaims, “I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” He was talking about death to self. He references this again in 1 Corinthians 15:31 when he says, “I die daily.”
These verses reflect a resolve that nothing and no one means more than Jesus in Paul’s heart and mind. He is dead to this world. Dead to everything that hinders a victorious life in Christ Jesus. This doesn’t mean that it is an easy task or that the struggle for Paul wasn’t genuine. Just read Romans 7:15-24. He definitely had his struggles with the flesh. But I believe Paul is really saying that he is fully surrendered to Christ so that Christ lives in Him to help him live a life acceptable to God. We can live a victorious life in Christ (Romans 8:37). Like John I want to say that, “He must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:30).
So, as I started out saying, I want to die. And I don’t mean suicide. I want to live a surrendered life to Jesus Christ that nothing and no one means more to me than Jesus. I want to die to the things of this world, for I truly believe that time is short and that the events coming upon this world before Jesus comes require a complete separation from everything that hinders our walk with God.
Call to Action
He is trying to prepare us for heaven. A pure, holy place. He is preparing a place for us so that where He is, there we shall be also. But we can’t go there seeped in a life of sin. Would you like to ask the Lord to help you die to self today?
All scripture taken from the King James Version.
