“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Hey, I have something for you. Read this,” my colleague Clarence said as she handed me a printed material titled Baptism: Is It Really Necessary? I wondered why she wanted me to read it. After all, I was already a baptized Christian—a Roman Catholic actively involved in the church, or so I thought. I thanked her but didn’t bother reading the pamphlet; I just filed it away. Little did I know that this small tract and encounter would be one of the means through which my life would change.
Have you ever felt like something was missing in your life, no matter what you did to fill the void? That was me for the longest time.
My name is Marxianne, and this is my story of how God led me from a life of rituals to a deep, personal relationship with Him.
I grew up in a devout Catholic family, where faith was central to everything we did. From a young age, I was taught the importance of prayer, attending Mass, and participating in church activities. My grandmother played a huge role in my spiritual upbringing. We would pray together at all hours of the day—12 a.m., 3 a.m., 3 p.m., and 6 p.m. I spent much of my time in prayer or church services, leading rosaries and novenas, and even organizing church events.
Something Was Missing
For a long time, I believed I was on the right path, but as I grew older, something didn’t feel right. All these religious activities that were supposed to bring me closer to God began to feel more like empty routines—rituals that didn’t change my heart. Despite my constant prayers and church attendance, I started to feel a deep emptiness inside. I realized I was going through the motions but missing the heart of what it truly meant to know God.
That emptiness led me to seek fulfillment in other places. I surrounded myself with people who lived for worldly pleasures—partying, vices, and seeking attention. I craved recognition and did everything I could to stay in the spotlight. I was loud, outspoken, and constantly trying to impress others. Deep down, though, I was hurting. Learning early in life that I was an unwanted child and had almost been aborted left me with a deep sense of rejection and unworthiness. I often felt unloved and struggled with self-pity, sinking so low at times that I even considered taking my own life.
On top of my emotional struggles, I faced constant physical challenges. I was a sickly child, often bullied for my frailty and clumsiness. I was always skinny and had been diagnosed with scoliosis and chronic sinusitis. Mornings often started with nosebleeds, and I was taken to doctors for treatment, though nothing seemed to work. My sinusitis persisted, causing disruptions in school and public places due to my constant sniffling. As I grew older, the sinusitis worsened, leading to ear problems from postnasal drip. My doctor advised me against swimming or flying, as my sinusitis had developed into a growing polyp, making travel risky.
To add to these challenges, I also had breast lumps that required surgical removal, as they caused pain and discomfort. Given my family’s history of cancer, I had to undergo biopsies to ensure my safety. Despite the physical strain, these experiences led me to develop a love for taking care of the sick. During my time receiving treatments at an Adventist hospital in my hometown, I was inspired to study nursing there, and it was also where I learned more about Jesus Christ. Through the wonderful people at that nursing school, I experienced the compassion and love of Christ.
It was during nursing school that I met my best friend, Kring, and my now-husband, Mathi. They didn’t condemn me for believing differently; they embraced my individuality and became friends who listened and accepted me for who I am. Through them, I learned that it isn’t sermons that draw someone to Jesus, but a loving friendship that develops and nurtures into something deeper and richer.
However, my Catholic upbringing made it difficult for me to accept invitations to embrace Christ fully. I was afraid of turning my back on my family by accepting Him through Revelation seminars. Yet, when I became a nurse, God continued pursuing me. He led me to new friendships at Adventist International Institute of Advanced Studies and in the Southern Asia Pacific Division, where I spent more time with Adventist believers and learned more about Him. Despite this, I was stubborn. I didn’t listen to sermons, friends, or even doctors.
I continued traveling, and during one flight, I noticed blood in my postnasal drip. Fear gripped me, but by then, I had learned to pray. In that moment, God comforted me, showing me His presence and patience.
Joy in Serving Others
Eventually, God brought me from the Philippines to Thailand, where I experienced a richer and deeper walk with Him as I mingled with His people who were passionate about missions and service. Shortly after arriving, I was invited to join a Vacation Bible School camp in a remote province in Mae Sot, where Karen refugees live. It was there that I witnessed the joy of serving alongside friends who volunteered in various ministries. This experience in Mae Sot inspired me to focus my attention on serving refugees and the people of Southeast Asia. That is a story for another time, but this sense of fulfillment is what I had been longing for and continues to drive me today.
I started attending church on both Saturdays and Sundays, as I was not yet baptized or fully converted. I began by attending the Bangkok Chinese Seventh-day Adventist Church, where I developed a love for music by actively participating in the choir and taking on various roles in the church. I was amazed at how God was gradually healing me and molding me into a better servant for Him. Through this choir group, I was inspired to visit various churches that were bringing revival through God’s Word and prayer expressed through music.
One night, I broke down and cried out to God. I poured my heart out, asking, “Lord, why do I still feel lost and empty? Why am I discontented with life when I’ve done everything I can? I’ve gone to Your churches, changed my lifestyle, and served in different ministries, but why am I still unhappy?”
That night, as I flipped through the pages of a Bible someone had gifted me, I came across Philippians 4:6–7. It was then that I realized the reason for my lack of peace and constant anxiety: I had never truly surrendered everything to Christ. I had been trying to control everything, hesitant to fully trust Him and let Him lead my life. At that moment, I decided I wanted to be baptized. I wanted to let Jesus take control and surrender myself entirely to Him.
I immediately texted our church pastor, but he didn’t respond right away as he was out of the country. Yet, the moment I surrendered to the Lord, He began to take the lead in my life. Shortly after that night of prayer, two literature evangelists visited the school where I worked and gave me the contact number of a Filipino pastor. I reached out to him, and as soon as I visited the church he was pastoring, I learned they were doing 10 Days of Prayer. They were interceding for souls in their community, and I couldn’t help but feel that I was an answer to their prayers, brought to their church doorstep by God’s leading. It was the power of intercessory prayer—friends from various church ministries and a prayerful church—that led me to Jesus.
As I talked with the pastor, I cried, realizing that God had indeed chosen me. Before my baptism, I remembered the pamphlet my friend Clarence had given me titled Baptism: Is It Really Necessary? I hadn’t been interested in it at the time, but as I read it again, I finally understood the experiences God had allowed me to go through in the past few years—and two months after the 10 Days of Prayer, I got baptized in March 2015.
After getting baptized, I continued my Bible studies through the resources provided by Amazing Facts. Through their programs, I encountered the Bible in a way I had never experienced before. The messages were clear, direct, and full of hope. For the first time, I began to understand what it meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus, rather than just following religious traditions. I also started regularly sharing their videos, which opened my eyes to the truth. I would share Revelation: The Bride, the Beast & Babylon or Cosmic Conflict: The Origin of Evil with any Catholics I knew. I would then invite them to small groups, where I imitated the pastor's style of conducting Bible studies and shared what I had learned. I was grateful for the opportunity to experience fellowship with others.
Because I was fully convinced of the impact of these programs, I approached our church pastor and requested that we air the Heroes of Faith series on Sabbath afternoons. I was still newly baptized at the time. One particular hero of faith that struck me deeply was Mary Magdalene.
Her story moved me to tears,
and I could identify with her in many ways. It was an incredible realization to know that
despite my sinfulness, I could be loved by Jesus just as Mary Magdalene was.
Soon after the Heroes of Faith series, I was overjoyed to learn that Amazing Facts Center of Evangelism (AFCOE) had collaborated with Adventist Medical Evangelism Network to conduct a mission trip in Mae Sot. I was so excited and grateful to be able to join. I couldn’t believe how God orchestrated everything so perfectly, allowing me to take part in a mission trip to Mae Sot, Thailand—the place where I had first learned to love Jesus more deeply. Hearing the testimonies of AFCOE students about how the trip impacted their lives stirred my heart to pray for more Amazing Facts mission trips in Thailand or for AFCOE itself to come to Thailand.
That prayer is still a work in progress, but I am learning, through His prayer ministry, how to wait on Him and trust in how He answers prayers. I am convinced that the answer is forthcoming.
About ten years ago, I prayed, “Lord, please let me experience AFCOE one day, and please let me be able to come to the United States.” Deep down, I doubted it would ever happen. Going to the U.S. seemed impossible, especially for a Filipino like me who didn’t have the means to travel.
My longing for a deeper walk with Him grew, and I prayed that I could attend the annual Generation Youth for Christ conference, but it didn’t happen. Instead, God led me to a prayer conference in the Philippines called Philippine Youth for Christ. There, for the very first time in 2017, I experienced united prayer. I didn’t know what to pray; I was mostly soaked in the prayers of others. Tears ran down my face even though I didn’t utter a single prayer. After that experience, I knew God had changed me: the things I used to want from this world I no longer desired, and the spiritual things I once disliked I now longed for. I wanted to have that experience again and again.
I began asking friends to gather and pray with me, copying the way united prayer was conducted at that conference. Eventually, I found myself praying with Filipino teachers aspiring to become licensed educators, pleading with the Lord together. I also united with friends from afar through Zoom or Messenger to pray together.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic happened, and I became involved with various online prayer calls such as 24/7 United Prayer. There, I experienced the power of praying unitedly even more. As I interceded daily and surrendered everything to Jesus, I was eventually asked to help full-time in prayer ministry. For four years, I mostly worked online, praying and interceding with others, and later attended conferences around Southeast Asia, which I found very fulfilling. Even though I set aside my original personal ambitions, God provided me with an even deeper sense of joy that only He can give.
I also went to refugee camps and unreached places in Southeast Asia together with Adventist Southeast Asia Projects (ASAP) Ministries and witnessed how our brothers and sisters struggle to disciple others in the 10/40 window. Like them, my heart developed a burden for new believers who still needed discipleship and training to disciple others.
However, over the years of ministry, I have realized that working for God can be overwhelming, especially when done in our own strength rather than in His righteousness. There came a point when I became burned out and felt alone. Yet God proved to me through that experience that He is always with me. At one point, I walked away from ministry with much pain and frustration, telling myself I wanted to return to secular work or do anything that might bring pleasure.
Once, I boarded a flight to Taiwan, thinking I would walk away from what God had called me to do. I planned leisure activities with my cousin, but God had better plans. He did not allow my cousin to join that flight. Instead of an escape, God used that trip to show me the need to die to self. He allowed me to meet someone who had experienced far greater pain than I had.
Through my own suffering and by seeing how Jesus loved me through it, God opened a way for me to witness to a woman who had endured child abuse and rape in her younger years. God also opened doors for me to join a care group there, even if only for a short time.
From then on, I realized that God can use us even in our failures and defeats. He opened more doors for me to see many answers to prayers I had once offered during prayer calls over the years. He led me to visit countries I had only longed to see, where I met missionaries who shared the same burden and passion, and where I heard testimonies of how God had answered their prayers.
Recently, God also opened doors for me to go to the United States. When God led me to the U.S. last year, I realized that He was fulfilling the very prayers I had prayed ten years ago and granting me so much more than I had asked for or imagined. Through many miracles and provisions—stories for another time—He granted my prayer to come to the U.S., for which I am extremely grateful. I was able to attend meetings with other believers from around the world in St. Louis and Orlando, Florida—and I got to attend AFCOE and an In Discipleship training retreat with others learning to be disciples and disciple makers. Truly, He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think ( Ephesians 3:20).
Now, I find joy in bringing others to the feet of Jesus, and I am excited to see how the Lord will answer prayers as 24/7 United Prayer moves beyond its online platform and brings prayer experiences through a revival conference called ACTS 29 Unleashed, which we are looking forward to launching and sharing. I am also excited to see what the Lord has in store as Amazing Facts plans to establish and launch their ministry in Thailand—something I prayed would happen years ago. Truly, God is faithful. He is coming soon, and He wants us to pray like never before—until something happens, until we see answers to our prayers. May this story lead others to pray more earnestly for their loved ones to come to church and for their aspirations to come to fruition. If God could answer His prayers for me, He can do the same for you.
Looking back, I am thankful for how God has worked in my life. He took my doubting, brokenness, illness, and feelings of rejection and transformed them into a beautiful testimony. Today, I no longer seek the approval of the world, nor am I sickly. I am actively involved in leading others to Jesus through united prayer, serving refugees—where God first revealed Himself to me—and helping with various ministries, witnessing firsthand the power of prayer. I now know that I am fully loved by my Savior and clothed in His righteousness. My life has purpose, and I am filled with a joy that comes only from walking with Jesus.
Call to Action
What a privilege it is to be a servant of the King! And He is calling each one of us to be partakers in His work. As we “humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord” (James 4:10), the Lord will use us in His great work of salvation for lost souls. We can be guaranteed our petitions will be heard:
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”
1 John 5:14-15
All scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
